Personal Stories.

Louise Emery

My daughter was born very premature (25 weeks) and following her birth was immediately taken to the Special Care Baby Unit at Glan Clwyd Hospital. It was the start of three months in intensive care followed by two more months on the unit before she was allowed home. Having had a healthy pregnancy and being a fit person myself, suddenly I was living by the side of an incubator, day in day out with periods of stability when she would be doing ‘ok’ to life threatening situations where you were sent out of the room so the experts could take over and do their best to get her though a ‘difficult patch’. It was, in one word, hell.

One week in and one of the nurses suggested that I talk to a counsellor from Chrysalis. I had never been to ‘counselling’, I’d never needed it and I was wondering what they could possibly say to me that would help me feel ‘better’ about my situation. Things were getting worse for my daughter and I lived every day thinking it would be her last - this was a very negative way to think and that’s what the counsellor changed. Very calmly, very gently, over many cups of tea and quiet chats she turned my negativity into something more positive; trying to look on how my daughter was progressing, what hurdles she had overcome and literally holding my hand during crisis time. I learnt to cope with the daily traumas; I began to be more positive which firstly helped me but also my family who were living through it with me.

My counsellor was with me throughout the five months on the SCBU Unit. We met twice a week and she was available 24/7 during the ‘crisis times’. When we finally got my daughter home, the counsellor visited the house and we could talk at length about what I had been through and how I was coping with the various treatments that my daughter still needed for months to come. Chrysalis, for me, was my lifeline during those difficult months. The medical profession concentrates on the ‘child’.
Chrysalis concentrated on the ‘parents’. They walked side by side with us during one of the most horrendous periods of our lives and I will be forever grateful for all they did to help us through it.

Sue and Dean Jude

Our 15 year old son died tragically in 2003 and I thought my world had come to an end. Fortunately, a senior doctor at Glan Clwyd Hospital offered our family counselling from the Chrysalis Trust and the caring support we received from Chrysalis helped us to find the strength to cope with our grief. I feel there is a great need for those left behind who, after a short time, others forget the trauma they are still suffering inside. The caring support for both parents and siblings which Chrysalis offers is so needed in the area. I appeal for your consideration in supporting this worthwhile Charity so that it can continue to help and support others.

Gwyneth Hughes

I had a stillborn whilst I was 38 weeks pregnant with my first baby in June 2008. I had a beautiful baby boy who we named LLywelyn. I had a massive abruption and was seriously ill myself in Intensive care for 2 days. As you can imagine, me and my partner felt that our world had come to an end and were absolutely devastated.

When my partner and I were given information on Chrysalis Trust counselling I immediately decided that I needed to talk to someone to help me through my grief. Initially I received Counselling by myself and felt an enormous relief to be able to talk and cry to someone who listened and supported me.

The Chrysalis Counsellor asked if I would like to meet other couples who had also lost babies in the area. The first Chrysalis group was set up in September 2008. This was the next step to my recovery as I was able to talk openly to other couples who had also lost babies. My partner also came along, and felt that he also gained a lot from the group, meeting other fathers who had experienced the same loss. The support from Chrysalis Trust was incredible and I believe was paramount in helping me through extremely difficult and dark times.

I became pregnant again a few months later, and had a healthy boy in August 2009. During my pregnancy we still attended group sessions, the sessions gave us the strength throughout.

I will always be grateful to Chrysalis Trust in supporting me through the most difficult time of my life and hope that their work will continue to help other people through their sad loss.